Are you following your own path or his?

Have you ever gone on a trip with no map (& I'm talking before GPS)? If there is a man in your life you have likely been told "we're not lost, I'm just not sure where we are right now"

As I read so many statuses on FB I see things like "There's no such thing as a good man" or "true love". I wonder is this an area of their lives that they have followed God's plan? Or have they been looking for love "in all the wrong places"? It's like setting out on a journey, you have a map (God's word). You see the places you should not turn, the "map" even tells you NOT to turn there but you turn, then wonder why God hasn't led you to the life he has promised!

Many people are just plain unhappy, talk about it's "just their luck", "good guys always finish last", etc. Do they have family who love them? Clean running water? AC? live in a country where they are not persecuted for their religious belief? Heck, they probably even have a cell phone, cable TV & shoes to wear...and they are unhappy? We are the wealthiest & whiniest people in the world. God told us to in Philippians "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." When I find myself struggling with a bad attitude (which is way more often than most of you think) I have to stop & ask myself, Am I following God's word & fixing my thought son these things or am I choosing to be in direct disobedience of what he told me to do & then wondering why I don't have that joy that he promises!

I saved the last example for last mainly because it "steps on my toes" the worst. I want to be healthy, I want to feel & look the way I did just a couple of years ago. Am I following God's path to the destination of health? No, I have not been. I know there are processed, toxic foods that while ridiculously tasty are not honoring my body...and yet I keep eating them. I know I should exercise...ugh...but I hate it. I have to ask forgiveness on a regular basis for my thoughts about those who exercise & love it!

What destination do you want to arrive at in your life? Are you on your own path or are you following his?

Are You Good Enough? Confession #1 From Someone Who's Not!

So are you? Are you good enough for the world? Good enough to be a leader to draw others to God? Are you even good enough to call yourself a Christian?

I assure you the answer is "NO" and neither am I. It is only as I give God the power (that's a funny thought in and of itself) to think God gives me free will that I have to turn over power to him before he can truly work in my life is really ironic. Little me with all my fear, struggles, failures, secrets that I don't want anyone else to know "giving" power to the creator of heaven & Earth!

I want my life to be transparent, I want others to look in and see all my junk! Many will say I need to be careful people will judge me & I can honestly say it took a long time to get here, but I really don't care. I want you to see the joy, the kindness, the love & know that when you see that it's not me at all, it is the areas of my life I have surrendered to God. I want others to desire the same thing & know that you can have all that "junk" & still be a force for the kingdom of God. He doesn't need perfect people he just needs willing obedient ones!

But what if I tell everybody my "secrets" & they think less of me? Then they're not ready & thats ok. People can judge me, think less of me or even decide not to be my friend & I will be just fine. I am not defined by what everyone "thinks". I have a friend who loves me despite all my faults & I believe this is what he wants me to do. He wants me to show that I don't have it "all together" & yet God is using me in a mighty way. My prayer is that through my transparency he will reach others to know that they too are "good enough" WITH HIM to do anything he puts in their path.

Confession #1 - The man that my friends & family know as my "Daddy" adopted me. He did not come into my life until I was 10 yrs. old. He treasured me & treated me like I was his very own. My biological father was a violent man who lived one life to the world & a very different one behind closed doors. He attended church regularly but what I saw lived at home was anything but Christ like. Biologically, I am half of him no matter how hard I have pretended not to be. There was a time (not in last 5 yrs) that all my good deeds were to make sure that anyone who found out how "bad" he was could never look at me & say "Oh I wonder if she is like him?" I didn't cuss, I didn't drink (tasted alcohol for the first time at 32), went to church, didn't watch R rated movies & I was actively volunteering in the community. See, now I'm good (or so I told myself)

My life now is full of what many would call "good deeds" but the motive is purely to shine light on Christ, it comes from a desire to just love people the way Christ loves them. I have realized tonight that I have never REALLY forgiven him & I am going to contact him within the next few months, praying right now about when I should do this & what I will say. I have not spoken to him at all since I was about 11. I imagine he will be a little surprised to hear from me. :-) I have to remember that hurting people hurt others. He came from a dysfunctional family & is a product of his pain. I pray that he has moved away from the man he was once was, anyone can change & God offered forgiveness to all his children.

Many confessions to follow....

What is it in your life that Satan uses to make you feel "less than"? What have you allowed to be a belief that is not what the Bible tells you?

A friend told me something recently that it strikes her that God asked Adam & Eve "Who told you that you were naked?" IT WAS SATAN!

I am trying daily now to only believe what God, my Daddy, my Savior, my friend, my love tells me! I am "good enough"! He wants to do a work in me, but I have to tear down my walls & let him rule & reign!

I have to let God sit on the throne of my life by following him, submitting to his will. I can't say I trust God & follow him & knowingly do things he says not to. If "I" am on the throne then he is not! (Have you seen my butt? No seriously, there is really not room for both of us! lol)

GODLY women are asleep at this hour!

Well I can honestly say when I woke up this morning I certainly didn't see myself blogging for the 2nd time ever & my first time since March at 1:30 in the morning. I'm almost certain most respectable Godly women are asleep right now. I am assuming that most of you know me best through Facebook, even many people I see day to day tend to "keep up" with me this way. I am excited about using this blog to express thoughts in more depths from some of the posts you see. My prayer is that you also grow in your walk as you share my journey with me.

I was recently laid off from my job & I don't know that I will be returning to the "work force" anytime soon. I have known for sometime that I wasn't where God wanted me anymore. My corporate job was the perfect job for me for a season. It had a very flexible schedule, enabled me to bring my children to work with me, paid a very nice salary which enabled our family to help out many others as well as provide all the extras & I was even given many opportunities to minister while working there. I am clear that for a season it was exactly where I was supposed to be. But as I have done so many times before I didn't hear God when he whispered to me that this season had passed & it was time to move on. So as of July 5th he yelled & I heard.

I am so often amazed at how many people confide that they look up to me spiritually as a role model, quite honestly I am thinking "Whoa if you are going to look up to someone, you really should set your sights a lot higher" I have even confided to many that sometimes I think I am on the spiritual "little bus". Don't get me wrong when it comes to "making a difference", being thankful, praising, full of joy, not questioning God's plans & even some other areas I have got it down! These are areas I do not struggle in at all. These are the areas that the world generally sees of me & quite honestly it is like looking at wonderful house on a great stretch of land, equipped with fine amenities whose builder forgot to install a kitchen. I use the analogy of the missing kitchen because I hate to cook! Please do not message me & tell me that good Godly women cook, I have a mother in law who is known for being one of the best cooks ever. She can take corn meal, meat, egg plant from the garden & apple sauce & turn it into a gourmet meal in under 30 minutes...lol. I have also read of the Proverbs 31 woman & she cooks too!

That being said, my "kitchen" is about to be under construction. It will not be "good enough" to be lacking spiritually in certain ways anymore. The Almighty perfect God drew the blue prints for me, he equipped me with everything I needed. The things I am missing in my life are from the lies of Satan delivered to me through life experiences, media, my peers & countless other mediums that were not the truths of my creator. Who am I not to be all that he wants me to be? (Just so you are not getting lost in the kitchen analogy I will not be posting recipes nor do I think being a great cook is part of God's plan for my life!)

I have a feeling that most if not all of you have a missing kitchen or added areas to your "house" that was not in your original design too. My prayer is that through this blog God reveals through my struggles, honesty & my occasional attempt at humor many things to you, one is that you are an imperfect princess serving a Perfect King & that you are not alone!

Barefoot! Leave Your Heels At The Door

Barefoot is kicking back up tomorrow night (6:30 p.m., Fusion Student Center at FBC)! Even if you haven't been able to join us yet, come tomorrow. We will have praise and worship led by Paige Hackett from Grace Church in Nash, and Mel Greenwood is sharing her testimony. If you have a friend who you know needs to hear about God's transforming love, power and grace, bring her with you tomorrow night! Remember, CHILDCARE IS PROVIDED IN THE CHILDREN'S BUILDING. So bring your kids and come on!


What is Barefoot?
Barefoot is a Bible Study for girls (all life stages) in their 20s and 30s. We're about Worship. Prayer. the Word. Building Relationships. and Serving the Poor in Texarkana.

The Question We All Ask: WHAT DO I WEAR?
Some wear jeans and others come from working out and some come straight from work. It's dim in there so no one sees what you're wearing anyway. So come comfy and casual!

What can I expect when I walk in?
You'll see smiling faces to greet you, table groups (sit wherever you'd like), a chill, relaxed environment, great music... No DVDs, workbooks, homework or study guides. We start right at 6:30 and every week besides tomorrow, we'll be through right at 7:30 p.m. Tomorrow we will be finished be closer to 7:45 p.m. because Mel has an awesome story to share and we are revealing the next big project!

What's the next Service Project?
The next group we are going to serve I am so excited about. They are poor monetarily, but this group of women we're targeting are broken emotionally, in need of Jesus, and in need of people who just care (whether they know they do or not). You'll get the chance to do that hands on in this next go-round (March 23 - May 11)!

More details on the next project to be revealed tomorrow night! 6:30 p.m. Fusion Center

So I've started a blog...

I decided to finally give in & start a blog.

So what exactly will I blog about? Will it be the some time misadventures of a Mom trying to juggle it all, a personal testimony, a confessions place for the many times I fail, a "soapbox" to stand on as a platform for all the injustices I see in the world around me or a forum to shout all the things I have to be thankful for and all the miracles I see in the world around me everyday.....I think it will be a little of all this...maybe more.